The fastest way to waste time is obviously to wander around the internet for ages and ages. How many times have we not found ourselves in situations of which we thought: shit, I wish this shit didn’t exist (regarding studying and all). People photoshop the bodies of Britney Spears and Obama together to see what that would look like, they make useless websites literally called theuselessweb ( http://www.theuselessweb.com/ ) and what not. You name it, on the Internet you’ll find it or are you able to do it. Concerning this time wasting, there are different types we can sketch regarding Internet behaviour
I divide them as follows:
#1. In Your Face Twitter- psycho.
Checking out one useless website after another, starting hate conversations on Facebook, chatting it up with that cutie you met last night, spamming your sister with hearts and love you’s all on her wall, posting embarrassing pictures of you and your best friend and reminding everyone how FABULOUS your time is and basically telling everyone how sorry you feel for them not to have such a best friend…. Adding 300 unknown people and start following stupid celebrities like Pamela Anderson because # that # makes # you # look # like # someone # who # loves # everyone # as # they # are12$@$5###. Should I continue?
#2. Over-addictive Gamer
Honestly, if you need a specific detailed portrait of this type, I’d suggest you’d check out 9GAG and pay special attention to the ”Friendzone”-memes. In addition, the label says it all as well.
#3. Geeky-Geek-hungry-for-scientific-information-to throw-in-your-face-during-irrelevant-discussions.
There’s nothing like knowing how to explain Einstein’s relativity theory or sketching out how a whale reproduces, especially if that has nothing to do with the conversation going on at that time. Such a shame though, since the Geek is indeed highly intelligent, but the lack of social skills prevents him/her of using the knowledge correctly.
#4. Teenage Bieber Lovers (because no mature adults love Bieber right?)
You find the affectionate comments of them under each and every YouTube video of Mister Babyface himself. Also, if you try to attack and push them in the ”right” direction of imagining a life without him, you might as well go straight to jail to have a safe shelter, because they’ll hunt you down. Virtually that is of course, because their tiny muscles would never be able to physically harm you.
#5. The moms and the dads.
I don’t know about you, but my dad is definitely not born to cope with techology such as the Internet. I mean honestly I can’t really blame him for having difficulties, because even I loose track of knowing how to look up stuff decently, but still
#6. Average Aimy.
They are average in looking up information, average in website-editing, average in spamming other people’s wall’s on Facebook and average in having an online addiction for certain popstars. They aren’t as addicted to playing online games as gamers, and they usually don’t participate in online arguments because they know they should rather spend time on applying for a JOB.
#7. The Freak
”Imagine a life without Internet”, is what people nowadays say to stress out the inability to ever live without it, because that answer is usually what results from it. The Freak simply cannot live without The Internet, it’s impossible. Growing up in a digital era means it is impossible to undo this era.
The phone connected to Internet, the iPod logged into Facebook and the computer showing his/her favorite series is switched on at ALL times. Obviously it is highly unlikely to ever find this person on a plane, because airplane-mode simply won’t suffice.
No, don’t start to call me names yet, because this can either be a guy (yes) but also a woman!
Trust me, I’m not ignorant so I know there’s also women out there who pretend to have a different age and pretend to have a D cup, unwrinkled face and a barbie waist whereas they have not.
Of course, these types are the creepy ones. On the look out for young victims to vicuously drag them into their caves, brrr.
If it is up to me I’d ban all those commercials who encourage people to find the loves of their dreams online (because it can result into #8 and strip your wallet). Seriously, the best recipe is still to get your ass OFF the couch and talk to a random stranger out on the street. It saves you time, you know the person looks like he/she looks and it is easier to sort them out by their flaws or advantages.
#10. The pro’s
Kind of a combination between the moms and the dads and the Geeky Geek’s, because they only use the Internet for a specific purpose (business) and know very well how to use it in the best possible way.
So there you have it, so far my top 10 of the types you most likely find online. Have you encountered any different strangers, then please let me know! Until then, try to not live up to one of these profiles, a combination is probably better. Cheerios!